By Fr Pat Amobi Chukwuma
According to Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English, New Edition, a certificate is “an official document that states that a fact or facts are true” or “an official paper stating that you have completed a course of study.” The first certificate one obtains at nativity is called birth certificate. A certain illiterate old man was asked to attach his birth certificate on his application form for the selection of the Oldest Man contest in his town.
He ended up attaching the photo of his deceased parents with his mother carrying him as an infant on her laps. When he was asked by the President General of the town in question, about the where-about of his actual birth certificate, he clarified that the attached picture shows every fact. He told the PG that his deceased parents can swear from their graves, if he was in doubt. When he was asked the actual date of his birth, he answered that he was born on February 31.
The PG removed his eye glasses, looked at the old man’s face closely and asked him, “Are you in your right senses? The month of February ends on 28 or on the 29th in a leap year.” The old man stated that it was after his birth on 31 February that the month suffered a loss of three days. Before he could express himself further, he saw himself in a psychiatric hospital. After several diagnoses and medical treatments, the chief medical officer awarded him with the certificate of inherited madness.
In actual fact, the birth certificate is issued by the authority of the maternity hospital where one was born. My birth certificate is still intact. It reads: “I certify that Patrick Amobi Chukwuma was born at 12.05 p.m. on the 1st day of April 1963. Hospital: Roman Catholic Maternity. Place: Jos. Province: Plateau. Country: Nigeria. In witness whereof the physician/midwife who attended the birth signs this certificate. Registered Authority: T. Uzoh.” Is your own birth certificate intact? The birth certificate is quite different from the Baptismal certificate. I have both.
If you were born at home, then it behoves on your parents to issue your birth certificate. If you were born on transit, then the driver of the conveying vehicle will issue your birth certificate. The cook raises the certificate of someone born inside a kitchen. The lavatorian issues the birth certificate of someone born inside a toilet or bathroom.
A pastor or an officiating priest surely issues the birth certificate of anyone born inside a church. Of course someone born in a market place should obtain his or her birth certificate from the chairman of the market union.
So far, I have obtained First School Leaving Certificate, West African School Certificate, Bachelor in Philosophy and Theology Certificates and Licentiate in Theology Certificate. Presently, I am studying for my Heavenly Certificate, which is the most important and the mother of all certificates.
This will be issued to me by God himself on the appointed day, if I meet all the requirements. Kindly pray for my success as I pray for yours. It is a sine qua none for entrance into the Kingdom of God. I hereby cordially invite you in advance to my induction into Sainthood. The date and venue shall be communicated to you later.
For few years now, there have been acts of terrorism, kidnapping and killing of innocent persons in Anambra State by unknown gunmen, cultists and kidnappers. This ugly situation is not limited to Anambra State. It is nationwide. Many have gone. Thus, the residents of the states and country live in fear.
The primary duty of any government at the state and national levels is the protection of lives and properties. An Igbo proverb says, “Okenye adighi ano n’ulo ewu amua n’ogbiri.” This means that an elder does not stay at home while a pregnant she-goat gives birth tethered. Hence after consultation and collaboration with stakeholders, the Anambra State House of Assembly promulgated the Anambra State Homeland Security Law 2025 and was signed by Governor Charles Chukwuma Soludo.
This law established Agunechemba, the state security outfit designed to complement and support existing enforcement agencies in prevention of crime and punishment of criminals. The security outfit is taking the fight to the dens of the criminals across all communities, local governments and urban centers in Anambra State. Some of the criminals have been apprehended while some met their waterloo at sight. It is regrettable that collateral damages often trail such security mission.
This security mission is termed ‘Operation Udo ga-achi’. Peace is gradually returning in Anambra State and the residents are gradually sleeping with one and half eyes closed as never before. Kudos to our amiable Governor, Professor Chukwuma Soludo, my brother from another parent. Security is everybody’s affair. Therefore, when you see something, say something. What it takes for crime to persist is for good men to keep silent.
Most criminals do not operate in isolation. Often they have informants, collaborators and sponsors. Kidnapping for ransom and for harvesting of vital human organs is reigning here and there in Nigeria. It is an evil lucrative business. It has been widely observed that occult native doctors accompany the criminals in Anambra State. They often live with the criminals and prepare charms for them.
Wherever the security outfit confronts the criminals, a shrine is discovered. Hence, the Anambra State Government has arrested some suspecting native doctors who work on charms for get-rich-quick syndrome. Some who call themselves prophets are not spared. They have been asked to prove their legitimacy.
Hence all dibias and ezenwaanyis in Anambra State are called upon to show their legitimate certificates of operation. Hence, the fake ones are either on the run or in hiding. How long shall they run or hide? The arms of the Law have been spread to entangle them.
In various towns and villages in Anambra, the Traditional Rulers and President-Generals have sworn to fish out the criminals living within. Legitimate native doctors have certificates. Likewise, Orthodox medical doctors have their certificates of induction and operation in the medical field. Any orthodox or native doctors operating without legitimate certificate is a fake. Similarly, any prophet, pastor or priest operating without legitimate certificate is a fake prophet, fake pastor or fake priest.
A certain self-acclaimed priest operating in Anambra and Imo States was accosted to produce his certificate and name the Bishop who ordained him as well as his diocese or religious congregation. He couldn’t produce any. He goes on performing fake or stage-managed miracles. He has already been banished from some towns and communities. Hence, he changes his area of operation from time to time.
A pigin-English adage says, “One day be one day monkey go go market e no go return.” One day is for the thief and one day for the owner of the house. Anambra State is no longer a Home for All but now the Light of the Nation. This light is exposing the agents of darkness living and operating within.
In conclusion, wonders shall never end. On Thursday, 20th February 2025 at Abuja, the former Military President, Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida, launched a book titled “A Journey of Service: An Autobiography.” At the occasion surrounded by former military dictators and former presidents, vice presidents and their acolytes, the ageing retired military president regretted his annulment of the 1993 Presidential Election, which was adjudged to be the freest and fairest election ever conducted in Nigeria.
He took responsibility for the annulment, though he accused the late military dictator, General Sani Abacha, for the annulment. He went further to announce the result of the annulled presidential election and declared late Chief Moshood Abiola as the winner after 32 years. Unfortunately, President Abiola died in detention on 8 July 1998 at the age of 60 as he was fighting for his mandate. Abacha died on 8 June 1998 at the age of 54.
The exceptional Umpire who conducted the historical Presidential Election of 1993 Professor Humphrey Nwosu just died at the age of 83. He will be buried on 28 March 2025 at his hometown Ajalli in Orumba North Local Government of Anambra State. Is it not pertinent that President Abiola’s Certificate of Return be handed over to late Professor Humphrey Nwosu during his burial for onward transmittance to late President Abiola in the world beyond? Presumably, there will be no Presidential Election in 2027 because the late President Abiola must rule Nigeria from the land of the dead for four years (2027 to 2031). May he rest and rule in peace. Amen!
