By Charles Nnamdi Obiejesi
The idea that homosexuality is ‘western’ is based on another western import – Christianity. True African culture celebrates diversity and promotes acceptance then I realized that African culture is no stranger to homosexual behaviors and acts. In Africa, they say that homosexuality in un-African and a lot of other African leaders suppress the human rights of LGBT people in African.
The worst happened in Nigeria during the time of President Goodluck Jonathan, when he signed the most dangerous law against the LGBT people in the modern world. On January 2014, then President Goodluck Jonathan bans gay meetings which make it illegal for gay people to even hold a meeting in Nigeria.
The Same Sex Marriage Prohibition Act in Nigeria also criminalizes homosexual clubs, associations and organizations, with penalties of up to 14 years in jail. At this time, a lot of us went hiding, haunted by the law and humiliated by our families, the society and the environment. If anyone had told me that my family and the society would one day disown me, I would have laughed it off as a dry joke.
But reality dawned on me when my family openly declared that I am not part of them after I was caught naked engaging in a sexual activity with another teenager of 24 years old in my own room. Then, we were in the college. “It was the most terrible day of my life, having to finally show a part of me I thought I had hidden so well from my mother especially.
She couldn’t say a word after she screamed my name. She held the door frame and sobbed as we dressed up and ran away to no destination in mind. I was running, not just from my mother, but from the reality that I must have disappointed her and my family. I cried as I did,” I am living as a working corpse, no acceptance by the society, no protection from my family. i decided to speak out by way of this publication.
Even if nothing will speak for me, let this piece of write up speak for others facing same situation as mine, just for deciding to show what they are. My motivation for telling this story is based on my own experiences as a young man. “My own father’s expectations of me were that I would go into business, marry someone preferably from my neighborhood or community and that we would have children.
I did not fulfill any of his wishes and it made me think of African expectations of masculinity and what a man “should” do and the weight of family expectations.” Of course, my own circumstances are different from other gay men living in my community with their partners, knowing that the revelation of their sexual orientation, will tear their family apart. In Nigeria, homosexuality is still criminalized under colonial-era laws.
People who identify as queer aren’t able to love or live openly, and face the threat of assault, abuse and discrimination. Conservatism and Religion My father is a pastor and therefore my sexual orientation goes against his religious beliefs and convictions. What is equally fascinating is that I am also quite religious and extremely conservative.
“This was just the reality of whom I am. We are used to people being either one thing or the other, but here we have a man who is conservative, traditional, religious and gay. None of my identities obscures the other. “God’s position has always been love. That’s God’s position, because that is what his nature is. God does not see people in the eyes of what they do, through the lens of nature.
He sees people through the lenses of who he is – love. What you do – your sexual orientation, psychology on sex, whatever it is that you believe in – does not and will not change the fact that God has a permanent position which is love. God loves you irrespective of who you are or what you do. That is my take and what the Nigerian society should be preaching about and not castigating people with same sex orientation like me.
