By Jude Atupulazi
There is this growing trend of people cleverly trying to make others marry wives for them and bury their loved ones. If you are wondering what I am talking about, I will give you these two scenarios to drive home my point.
Scenario 1
A young man wants to take a wife and he draws a list of people in his phone contact, including those he has never called or chatted with. He opens a whatsapp group and adds all of them there and thereafter announces that he is taking a wife on so and so date and solicits the financial assistance of those added to the group. If he doesn’t want to do this directly, he commissions a friend to create the whatsapp group and then gives them the names to add. This friend of his is now saddled with the task of galvanizing those people to raise money for the wedding of his friend. And truly, very soon donations will start pouring in.
Scenario 2
Someone loses a family member and the next thing he does is to add people from his phone contact to a whatsapp group he has created. He either directly asks them to raise money for him or he does it through a friend. As in the first scenario, money soon starts to pour in.
To me, this all reeks of emotional blackmail because if you do not donate, it will seem as if you do not want him to marry a wife or that you do not want to grieve with him over his bereavement. I’m indeed, sure that many people who donate are not overly doing so because they like what they are doing but because they do not want to be thought of as sadists.
Pray, since when does it require others to marry wives for some people? At least I’ve always known that marrying a wife is an indication that the man is up to age and that means he is capable of fending for a family he is about to have. This has always been something a man undertakes alone. On the wedding day, friends are invited to partake of the feast and then give presents in cash or in kind.
Before now, there was this setting up of a committee of friends whose task was majorly to plan for such a wedding by way of distributing tasks such as who would serve the guests food and drinks, who would serve those at the high table, who would look for a venue, and things like that. It was never a ploy to get those friends to literally fund the wedding. In most cases it was even the friends that set up such a committee. The financial burden was still borne by the groom to be. And those friends were always those who were close to the celebrant.
What happens these days? You wake up one morning and see yourself in a newly created whatsapp group in which you are being asked to make monetary donations for someone to either marry or conduct the funeral of a family member. It doesn’t matter whether you have not spoken or related with such a person for a year or years.
But having been included in the group, you will think it rude to quit since you were not consulted. You will also feel uncomfortable not donating, even if the person being donated to is better off than you are. You thus find yourself in a sort of trap, especially when others in the group begin to donate.
To me, this is cheap, emotional blackmail, even if those doing so don’t know it. I’ve always thought that it is not proper for anyone to burden another over their private matter. Yes, anyone can seek help, but not scheming to have others fund their wedding or funerals. It just doesn’t gel with me.
Super Eagles, the Cruelty of Football and the NFF’s Gaffe
So it was that the Super Eagles of Nigeria, last Tuesday, all but blew their chances of making it to the world cup for a second straight time. Despite playing well and controlling the game against group’s whipping boys, Zimbabwe, Eagles collapsed in virtually the last minute to concede an unforeseen equaliser. 1-1 it ended. A win would have catapulted Nigeria to the second position, just four points behind leaders, South Africa, but as it is, we are currently third bottom.
Good thing though, is that the two other teams above us apart from SA are only ahead with one point. The winner of the group will automatically qualify, while the second placed team will potentially go through a playoff with teams outside Africa.
The Eagles are playing their second straight game under their new gaffer, Eric Chelle. The team has noticeably improved in their general play. In the two games under Chelle, they’ve won one and drawn one.
That victory was only their first, no thanks to the stupidity of our soccer administrators who earlier toyed with our fate by appointing a rookie in Finidi George. After he resigned following his disastrous start, the NFF returned to Eguavoen, their boy, before going for Chelle.
Eagles seem to be playing much better now, despite the result. Tuesday’s score line would have been at least four, but the Eagles were very profligate in front of goal and often when such happens a sucker punch is delivered. It just wasn’t our day even though players like Moses Simon and Lookman didn’t step up to the plate.
Beyond that, I’ll be laying the blame of our precarious situation on the door step of the NFF. Had they done the right thing from the start, we would have been up there on the table. How indeed could they return to Eguavoen at any point after he failed to qualify us to the last mundiale? It is an example of what damage cronyism can cause.
I had rooted for the appointment of Sampson Siasia in place of Chelle for the simple reason that Siasia would have turned our attack into a riot squad. Siasia’s teams in the past always had character. They were known for their potency in attack and few can argue that the present Eagles have the best attacking talents in Africa.
Check out Osimhen, immediate past African Footballer of the Year, who’s been banging goals for fun in Turkey and proving it in Nigeria’s colours now. Check out the current Africa’s best, Lookman. There’s also Boniface who took Germany by storm last season. Currently, we have Arokoyade (hope I got it right) who’s top scorer in Belgium. I felt that Siasia would have cohered them into a murderous unit.
But having not chosen Siasia, probably because they can’t control him, I had to make do with their current choice, Chelle. He did a great job with Mali, at the last AFCON and so far we are beginning to see a more lively Eagles.
It may indeed look bleak for us now but then football can be crazy. Benin’s home loss to SA and Rwanda’s home draw with Lesotho have actually helped us and left us with a chance to come second. Should we win our remaining games and perhaps draw with SA away from home, we may just about steal into the second position. A pity we’re resorting to “ifs” in a group comprising SA, Rwanda, Benin, Lesotho and Zimbabwe despite the array of stars we have. But it’s what it is: Nigeria are third bottom!
Perhaps very worrisome is the unfolding fact that we can’t score without Osimhen. Injuries to him which kept him out of some initial games contributed to our tight situation today. Now he’s back, we’ve scored three goals in two games, all by him. Does it mean our team is all about Osimhen? The gaffer has to fix this.
Another thing he should tackle is playing big names even when they are not in form. I don’t think that Ndidi should be starting games for us anymore. He’s washed out. Our midfield needs more energy and appears the department that requires urgent surgery. Our defence is good, forget the goal we conceded on Tuesday. The way it handled hosts, Rwanda, was sweet. Remember that same Rwanda beat South Africa 2-0.
We walk a tight rope today but things can change. If they don’t, then a generation of some of our finest players will have missed two world cups and that’s going to be a tragedy, no thanks to our clueless and corrupt football administrators.
